I find myself moving between 2 places… one where I’m in this still place (usually when I’m in nature but nature is even closed now or when I take your online classes) and I see the mind interpreting what is happening and feel far removed from it. Then at other times I feel this intense wave of tension move through my body (something I cannot move out of). It’s almost like a swinging happening right now. This tension feels like a reactivation of past events related to security.
My meditation and chant is distant now (before it would come out of stillness - the stillness was rich and deep), but I’m also noticing the stillness is almost distant nowadays in meditation.
Is it something to just have compassion for? I’ve gone into my sympathetic nervous system and now it’s time to do more Nidra and move into the parasympathetic nervous? Stop forcing my meditation to be what it was before and accept what it is today?
Perhaps any guidance would be good… although I know you might say the answer is already in your question.